Why do I feel Stuck?
Why the old ways are no longer working for you:
In Parts 1 and 2, we explored why you might be feeling overwhelmed by the state of the world and disconnected from your old sense of direction.
If you’ve made it this far, chances are none of this is new. You already feel the inner tension and have been working hard to take ownership of it. But no matter what you try, progress feels impossible.
You’ve tried adapting – at work, in relationships, in life. You’ve done the therapy, read the books, and practiced the habits. Yet the tension keeps building.
You might even feel like a failure. I know I have, and sometimes still do.
But here’s the thing: this isn’t a failure of attitude; it’s a fault in approach. The “old ways” simply don’t work anymore. And that’s what this article is here to address.
Failure to Launch
After losing my wife, I was in shock and desperate to rebuild my life.
So, I turned to what I knew. As an entrepreneur and former police tactics instructor, resilience and performance were my bread and butter. Surely I could turn tragedy into purpose, right?
I dove into my work and research, created frameworks, attended therapy, took up new hobbies, and set new goals. But no matter how much I did, the emptiness stayed. No amount of external effort could remove the pain. All that activity was just avoidance dressed up as progress – an endless journey of hiding from the pain, turmoil, and lack I felt inside.
My greatest fear was failing to find meaning again. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to turn my life around and get it back on track. I was afraid I would never feel ‘normal’ again. And it was that fear that led me to avoid looking internally by pursuing external sources of fulfillment.
Naturally, I had to learn this the hard way:
Avoidance doesn’t lighten the load, it compounds consequences.
Every time I’d gain momentum through action, I would always crash into depression, anxiety, and self-doubt.
It felt like trying to launch a plane from a runway that was too short. As soon as I’d get up to speed, the runway would end, and I would crash and burn.
It took several “crash landings” before I realized: the problem wasn’t me. It was my model.
What I knew about success, trauma, and growth no longer applied.
I needed a new approach. But what?
Why the Old Ways No Longer Work
I’ve always been obsessed with high performance: mindset, health, resilience, you name it. I’ve devoured the books, podcasts, and research. This was both my profession and my passion.
And the universal message? Start with why.
There’s even a best-selling book that says so.
But here’s the catch: I had a why. I wanted to help others using my experience. I had clarity, passion, and purpose – but none of it filled the void inside.
That’s when I discovered the flaw in the formula.
Realizing What’s Missing
The first question isn’t “What is my why?”
Rather, it’s:
“Who am I?”
I wasn’t stuck because I lacked direction. I was stuck because I no longer knew myself. I had changed, and my identity hadn’t caught up yet.
Here’s the thing: you can’t build a meaningful future from an outdated version of yourself. You are changing, and your sense of self must adapt to match who you are becoming:
You can’t step into the future with your feet stuck in the past.
Self-discovery must come first.
The Path of Self-Discovery
Imagine being dropped somewhere unfamiliar, given a map, and told to navigate. Unless you know where you are, the map is useless.
That’s where most people get lost. Not because they don’t know where they want to go, but because they lack awareness of where they are.
To navigate life’s changes, you need clarity on three things:
Where you are.
Where you’re going.
How you’ll get there.
This new path starts with radical self-responsibility. It requires reclaiming your agency by understanding who you are now.
From Self-Awareness to Self-Responsibility
As I shared before, power isn’t control over circumstances; it’s control over choices.
But which choices matter most? How do you know which are truly aligned with you?
That’s where self-awareness becomes the foundation. Once you understand who you are, you can make choices that resonate with your authentic self.
In psychology, this means aligning behavior with values. But that’s easier said than done when the things that once gave you meaning no longer do.
So how do you rediscover what matters?
Through intuition.
Your Intuition Is the Gateway to the Real You
Your intuition is your subconscious speaking. It’s the part of your mind that processes over 11 million bits of information per second, compared to just 40 bits consciously. It senses patterns, emotions, and energy long before logic can.
Most of us have been taught to silence it. We praise logic and critical thinking but dismiss our intuition.
What if there’s a place for both?
What if there’s a way to balance logic with intuition so that we access a deeper connection and authentic decision-making?
That is what intuition provides. It’s your most honest internal compass. It’s how your deeper self communicates what’s right for you, expressed through emotions, sensations, and that quiet “knowing.”
Your Feelings Are the Language of Intuition
Our emotions are signals, and they help us recognize when something is off or aligned:
When something feels heavy, frustrating, or draining… It’s misaligned.
When something feels light, exciting, or peaceful… You’re likely on track.
I had to learn this through trial and error, pain, and failure. Whenever I tried to launch my plane, my intuition warned me that I wasn’t aligned. My gut feeling told me that I was missing something. But I ignored it, pursuing logic and reason over intuition, and I would suffer the consequences, over and over again.
It wasn’t until I finally stopped overriding it – and started truly listening – that my direction began to shift.
Instead of chasing goals, I chased curiosity. Instead of working harder, I did the inner work. I didn’t just heal the psychological trauma; I healed the spiritual and ontological trauma. I discovered who I really was and what my true purpose is.
And that shift reignited my curiosity, my joy, and my sense of meaning. Growth flowed with ease instead of force, and my life took a completely unexpected direction. Interestingly, my goals didn’t change – but the expression of them did. The path forward has transformed, and it was only visible from within.
Charting Your Path Forward
These first articles are meant to give you hope. To remind you that you’re not broken, you’re evolving. To emphatically say that you are not alone.
You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. You just need to start listening inward and find your intuitive compass to guide you forward.
The simplified key to accessing your intuition is this:
Let go of what drains you, and lean into what drives you.
Let go of the things that create internal tension – the ones your intuition keeps telling you are dragging you down.
Lean into the things that bring you joy, excitement, and peace. Those are the signals that it is an aligned decision.
Now, I’m not suggesting that you don’t do hard or uncomfortable things. Those are necessary for growth. What I’m saying is that when you are aligned, discomfort and pain turn into strength and passion - true conviction rather than false courage.
As you make choices that feel aligned, your life starts to realign bit by bit. Our future guides and frameworks will help you do exactly that:
1. Discover who you really are.
2. Let go of the weight that is slowing you down.
3. Develop an internal compass to help you navigate through a changing world with conviction, courage, and clarity.
One Thought to Leave You With
It’s learning to integrate your intuitive side, your true self, that allows you to express yourself uniquely and authentically, sharing your gifts with the world.
It’s not about conforming to the mold society has created for us but about creating a new one altogether.
Because it’s when we are whole and operating from our zone of power that we can provide the most impact on the world.
Subscribe to our site so you don’t miss the next guides. Each one will help you go deeper on this path.
You’ve been taught to look outward for answers, but the truth has always lived within you. Remember that you are the key. Your true growth begins the moment you become your own source of inspiration – instead of a reflection of society’s expectations.
